Easier To Run
by The Reanimated Raynor
Summary: A little angsty fic I wrote for Ami and Makoto. Features a short poem at the end by Laura Mars. [May 15] got around to formatting said poem correctly. Stupid lack of internet at home. .;


Easier To Run (A Sailor Moon Darkfic)  
  
By The Reanimated Raynor (ReanimatedRaynorinteractive.rogers.com) Notes:  
  
You are about to delve into the mind of a depressed writer. Dark. Undistilled. This is going to be straight from top to bottom--no planning, no premise. I'm depressed. So I'm writing. Listening to Linkin Park's Easier To Run from Meteora.  
  
Don't own SM. Don't own Linkin Park.  
  
---  
  
Easier To Run  
  
MAKOTO ran down the street, tears streaming down her cheeks. She had been at Ami's, finally mustering up the courage to tell Ami of her true feelings. And she didn't return them. Makoto didn't know how to react, at first--she almost expected it, thinking subtle things Ami did around her were hints that she shared Makoto's feelings for her. But it was all misleading. All of it.  
  
There was a light rain falling, and it further upset Makoto. Ami liked light rainshowers. Everything seemed to remind Makoto of her. But she kept running, and running, and running, until her reserves were depleted, and she had to stop out of exhaustion. She looked up and realized she was outside the Hikawa shrine. She needed someone to talk to, and Rei might be able to help her. She walked up the steps, a little unsteady, as her legs were worn out from the full-out running. She saw Rei when she got to the top, still trying to keep the grounds neat even in the rainfall. "Hi, Makoto!" Rei said cheerily. "I wasn't expecting you to come over."  
  
"Neither was I, really." Makoto replied. And from there, she began her story.  
  
---  
  
Knock Knock  
  
Ami opened the door. "Hi, Makoto." She said.  
  
"Hi, Ami." Makoto returned as she walked in.  
  
"You said you wanted to talk with me about something?"  
  
"Yeah." Makoto hesitated. There was really no turning back now... "I've got a confession I've got to make." She said as they walked into Ami's living room and sat down.  
  
"Really? And what is that?" Ami asked.  
  
"Well...it's about you, Ami. You see...I've been having these...these feelings about you. I think I'm in love with you."  
  
"In love? With me?" Ami said.  
  
"Mm-hmm. I don't think I felt this kind of love since I was on good terms with my old sempai."  
  
Ami thought about Makoto's confession, and its reprocussions, for a while. "I'm flattered, Makoto. I really am. I never thought you had those kinds of feelings about me. But..." Ami sighed heavily. "I'm afraid I don't have the same feelings. Don't get me wrong, I still like you, but just...just as a friend, you know?"  
  
"I know." Makoto said.  
  
"I'm sorry, Makoto."  
  
"Don't be. You're being truthful to me, and I appreciate it more than if you said you loved me without really meaning it. I'll probably get over it eventually...I don't know. Maybe I'm just idolizing you or something."  
  
"Maybe. was that the only thing you came over to discuss?"  
  
"Yeah, it was."  
  
"Sorry it didn't work out."  
  
"Hey, it's alright." Makoto smiled. "Anyway, I've got some other errands to run, so I should probably be going...see you, Ami."  
  
"See you." Ami said. Somehow, she knew. Ami knew just how hard Makoto took it.  
  
Makoto walked out of Ami's house. And as soon as the door closed, started running. ---  
  
"Wow..." Rei said. "I'm really sorry, Makoto." New sets of tears were streaming down Makoto's cheeks. "I know...Even I didn't know I was that in love with her...that I'd take it this hard..."  
  
"Is there anything I can do to help?"  
  
"I don't think so, Rei. I appreciate you listening to all this. I really needed someone to talk to."  
  
"Any time. I'm always open to listeining to others' problems." And with that, Makoto bid goodbye to Rei, and walked down the steps.  
  
And started running.  
  
---  
  
Makoto ran until she couldn't. Couldn't walk, couldn't stand, couldn't expend another ounce of energy. She ran aimlessly until she got to a park, where she almost collapsed before getting to a bench, and sobbing. Ami was a good friend, and Makoto felt she had jeopardized or even ended their friendship. How could she? Why did she even bother? Of course Ami didn't feel that way about her!  
  
The more Makoto thought, the more she felt like it was her fault. She shouldn't have said anything to Ami. She shouldn't even have felt the way she did towards Ami. It was all her fault. She ruined her relationship. Makoto almost fell asleep, crying herself into a half-dream-like state where she was between the real and ethereal. Where she couldn't tell what was there and what wasn't.  
  
Either she was dreaming it, or she was walking along a path in the park. She didn't feel the burning in her legs, she noticed. She walked until she got to a boardwalk, and walked along that for a while until she got to another bench and sat down again. She glanced at her watch. 2:32 AM. She had been crying and running since 5:30. She looked out onto the ocean, and it reminded her of Ami. Water was her element.  
  
Just then, she heard soft sobbing. Someone else was crying, sitting on another bench a little ways away from the one Makoto was on. She walked closer to it, thinking that maybe her and the other person could vent to each other, maybe ease the pain they both felt. Then as she got close enough to see who it was, she realized it was Ami! "Ami!" Makoto called, running up to her. "Ami, what are you doing out here in the middle of the night?"  
  
"I'm--I'm doing the same thing you're doing..." Ami said, tears still freely flowing. "I know how much I hurt you. And as I realized that, I noticed how much I think of you, how you I always seem more cheerful when you're around...and that's when I realized it, Makoto. I realized I do love you. I just never thought of it that way before."  
  
Again, Makoto didn't know how tro react. Was this a dream? Was this some heavenly spirit from her subconcious, trying to talk her down from doing anything drastic before it's too late?  
  
All thought was wiped from her mind the moment Ami kised her.  
  
Makoto immediately returned the kiss, wrapping her arms around Ami's neck as she did. Ami broke the kiss and looked deep into Makoto's eyes. "I love you..." Ami said, new tears replacing the old. But Makoto knew the tears were of joy.  
  
Makoto also started crying joyfully. "I love you, Ami..."  
  
---  
  
Makoto awoke suddenly. She was on the park bench, on the boardwalk, overlooking the water. was it a dream? Did Ami really feel that way about Makoto?  
  
She looked around. Nobody was in sight. She looked out onto the water, and saw the sun half above the horizon, half below. Several light clouds were in the sky. Makoto checked her watch. 5:30 AM. It had been 12 hours.  
  
She got up to make her way home, and to call Ami. She needed to find out if it was a dream or not. As she did, a small piece of paper fell off of her lap. She picked it up.  
  
As she opened up, she smiled.  
  
---  
  
You take your pain and wrap it around you like a blanket   
  
Agony is so very comforting to you   
  
I don't understand what it is that makes you how you are   
  
But the one thing I know is that I want to be you.  
  
---  
  
It wasn't signed; but at the bottom, in blue ink, was the symbol of Mercury.  
  
---  
  
Fin  
  
-Ø  


End file.
